Christian dating as a single adult can be challenging. This post provides 8 helpful books to answer common questions that come up in Christian dating.
These books will help you get into the right mindset for Christian dating. They will challenge you to examine yourself and deal with any barriers to a healthy dating relationship that leads to marriage. The titles of the books are clickable links to buy the book right away if you so desire.
How these Books on Christian Dating Made the List
I only got married for the first time in my mid-forties (!). My dating years were long and I made many mistakes in Christian dating. As you can imagine, I have read several books on Christian dating over the years. In my opinion, these below are some of the best books to help you do Christian dating in a healthy way that leads to Godly marriage. They helped to move me out of negative patterns so I could finally be attracted to, date and marry an emotionally and spiritually healthy Christian man.
These books were recommended to me by both Christian counselors and pastors who advised me on Christian dating during my single years. Reading these books will purify your intentions about marriage. You will also be confronted with things that you may need to let go of from your past.
I have included two books at the end that are not only on dating but will help you to have healthier relationships in general. To me, they are both important for Christian dating for adults. The one on safe people will help you to recognize people who are good for you and those who will hurt you. The last one on boundaries is to help you to get to know the real you and to have the strength to be true to yourself in your relationships.
This book by Gary Thomas is purposefully first. It goes through the purposes of marriage. This also describes what you should be looking for in a spouse to fulfill God’s purpose in marriage. There is helpful advice on how to avoid common pitfalls in Christian dating as well. It purified my intentions in Christian dating. Reading this book made it very easy to recognize early whether someone was even a suitable prospect for a first date (or not).
This second book is by Andy Stanley. It is refreshingly honest and straightforward on common issues that come up in Christian dating. He addresses personal barriers that block us from being in a healthy Christian dating relationship. Andy further expands to give solutions to those barriers. He is not shy about talking about sexuality in dating as well.
You will see two of my all-time favorite Christian authors on this list several times. This book is by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. These men are Christian psychologists who have written much on the issues of healthy boundaries and healthy Christian relationships.
This book describes:
- the purposes of Christian dating
- how to recognize when a relationship is helping you or hurting you
- how to keep healthy boundaries in Christian dating (it is more than just sex!)
- any areas you might need to grow to have a healthy relationship and how to grow
- time-lines for dating that would be reasonable (e.g. how long should you date before going exclusive?)
This fourth book is by Christian psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Henry Cloud. This was a fun read. It made me laugh several times. Although the author writes humorously, he is serious about challenging you out of your comfort zone. People sometimes say they want to be married but put up an unconscious psychological barrier to dating, and this book will show you if you are doing this. Dr. Cloud has counseled hundred of singles towards healthy Christian marriage, and you will find his best advice in here.
Additional Books Related to Dating
When I started dating, I honestly seemed to be a magnet for abusive, dysfunctional men. This is one of the first books I ever read that helped me to begin learning new patterns for dating and relationships. It is again by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, two Christian psychologists.
If you read this you will have a checklist of how to recognize harmful behaviour in all your relationships. You will make much better choices in dating, and even in your friendships.
If you notice a pattern of attracting dating partners who leave you feeling less than you are, I highly recommend this book.
The last book on this list is again by two of my favorite authors on Christian relationships, Christian psychologists Drs. Cloud and Townsend.
If you find yourself often saying yes to other people to avoid them being angry at you, this book is for you. Further, if you are confused about who you really are and what you really should be focused on in your own life, this will help you immensely. You will learn to say yes to things that represent the real you and no to things that do not.
This is a very important foundation for healthy Christian dating.
This post gives you 8 books on Christian dating that will help you move from dysfunctional dating patterns to healthy Christian dating relationships.
Let Me Know
Is there another book you would recommend? Have you read any of these books? Leave me a comment below if you have.
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