This post is for female Christian singles interested in knowing the signs their boyfriend is a keeper.
We have all been there. You have been dating a while and feel you are getting closer. It is decision time to know whether this relationship is worth moving towards marriage. Are there any clear signs that you found yourself a keeper? Should you throw him back overboard? This post will give you 15 positive signs in dating you have found a great potential spouse. The more of these positive signs you see in your boyfriend, the better the chances you two will have a wonderful marriage.
Signs for Female Christian Singles their Boyfriend is a Keeper:
His Connection to God
- He has a rich, growing spiritual life that spurs you to go deeper with God. This doesn’t mean just going to church and saying a five minute rushed prayer in the morning. If he has a hunger and passion for God and has evidence of seeking God daily for guidance and direction, that’s a great sign.
God is Speaking to Your Spirit about Him
- God is speaking to you and you sense confirmation in your spirit. Do you get a sense of peace after praying about the relationship and seeking God’s will that this is the right way to go? That is the biggest one.
Family Connections are Good
- Your family loves him. Especially if you are from a loving and somewhat functional family this is usually a very good sign.
- His family loves you. Your in-laws can be a strengthening or weakening factor for your marriage. If you already feel close to his family, you have a favorable set-up for a well-supported marriage.
- His parents and family generally have healthy marriages. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If he learned about healthy relationship skills at home that bodes well for a married relationship with you.
He has Good Character
- You catch him doing good things when he thinks no one is looking. This is really special when you have the pleasure of witnessing him do things that show integrity, honesty, and kindness. For example, when I was dating my husband, I noticed a few things about him. He never disparaged or spoke negatively about another person no matter how they treated him. His word was gold-he meant what he said and lived up to his word even when it was difficult. Lastly. I often caught him going out of his way to do kind things for people, especially when they would never know what he did for them.
- People tell you stories about him behind his back that amaze you how kind and loving he is. Note-if it is just his momma telling you these stories, consider the source. For my husband almost every person I met who had known him more than a year had some awesome story about him.
- There is evidence of self-work in the emotional and psychological realm. Has he done any work on looking at any issues from childhood where he recognized some work was needed? Is he self-aware and growing? If so, it means he can see things in himself that need to change and cooperate with a growth process. Down the line, when any interpersonal issues as a couple need to be dealt with, he will be able to do his part as you do yours.
- This man is financially providing for himself. This may seem obvious, but I once dated a 50-year-old man who was financially dependent and living at home (as a divorced dad with 3 boys) with his 83-year-old mother. Needless to say, I ended that shortly after discovering he was not able to provide for himself even at the most basic level.
- He has longstanding deep friendships. This shows good relational skills. If he can be a good friend, that is a big part of being a good spouse. Take a close look at the character of his closest friends. We all become the average of our 5 closest friends. If his friends are of good character, that is a positive indicator for the relationship.
- You love how deep he is. Thoughtful reflection proceeds any action he takes. The consequences of his actions are deeply considered before he takes actions. Delving into the real issues of life and faith with him is easy.
- He is a person who commits to things. When he speaks, he says what he means, and he means what he says.
He has a Godly Influence on You
- Since you have been with him you find yourself getting closer to God.
- He protects you and your purity.
- He respects your thoughts, feelings, and preferences. He doesn’t ridicule or ignores your feelings and he takes what you are feeling and thinking into consideration.
I would like to recommend a book by two Christian psychologists named Cloud and Townsend called Safe People which helps identify people who are relationally good for you. I further recommend the book Sacred Search by Gary Thomas which lines up some excellent questions to ask yourself about your date before you commit.
This article outlines 15 significant signs that the person you are dating has the relational skills and spiritual maturity needed for a God-centred and healthy marriage.
Let Me Know:
Leave me a comment to tell me about any other signs of a keeper you think should be added to the list.
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